Anger.
Tears.
Anger.
Shame.
Anger.
Hurt.
Anger.
Lost.
Anger.
Disappointment.
Anger.
Broken.
Anger.
Melt-downs.
Anger.
Disgust.
Anger.
Grief.
Anger.
Isolation.
Anger.
Fake Happy.
Anger.
Jealousy.
Anger.
Depression.
Anger.
Self-loathing.
Anger.
Guilt.
Anger.
Confusion.
Anger.
Anger.
Anger.
Please no platitudes on remembering all the good stuff in my life or how much worse someone else has it. I get that this isn't the end of the world and I really do hope to be over myself sometime relatively soon. Right now I just need to be pissed off and all those other crappy feelings are along for the ride.
It's a start.......
About Me
- Lost in Space
- On the planet since 1973. Living in sin with M since 1997 and honestly since 2002. Failing at baby-making since 2005. And whining about it here since 2008. Come on in and sit a spell. This train wreck never seems to end.
48 comments:
I've been thinking about you B. I wish I could give you a huge hug :) Life just isn't fair.
thank you
no platitudes here
I would be worried about you if you claimed to be anything else.
You have every right to be angry and shake your fist at the universe asking why! Yell, scream, punch something - feel the feelings and accept them. No will fault you for any of it!
Can't think why you would feel any other way. It wouldn't make any sense if it wasn't a painful process.
It's probably easier to see, as an outsider, that you'll certainly come through this. There is such a strength to the character of your writing, especially when you write about your marriage. I know that, over time, you'll be able to draw on that to see you through the pain.
But that doesn't make it suck any less, and it wouldn't make sense any other way.
xxx,
L.
I'm sorry it hurts so much and is so hard. I have always appreciated how you are so honest with how you feel. I wish I could give you a hug, too, just like RB said. Whenever you need to vent, I'm here; you know that. Thinking of you and M.
{{{hugs}}}
I'm sorry... :(
yup. that sounds about right to me.
i am so powerless to do anything to really help you, just as powerless as I am in my own life, so i will just tell you that i understand and have had months with exactly the same apointments in my agenda.
Absolute nightmare.
I hope it ends soon.
xoxoxoxoxoxox
you have to start somewhere
I'm so sorry. I've been MIA from the blog/FF world for a few months and I just caught up on your blog.
((Hugs))
I totally expected you to be farting sunshine by now. Geez.
It sucks.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry Brenda. ((hugs))
Pretty much sums up my last two weeks. Oh, you are going to love the post-it notes I got you today! I hope I can get them mailed off this weekend. Feel free to drop some f-bombs at will. Fuckin' A, B, C, D, E, and F!!
Thanks for updating, and for being real. I am very pissed off for you, too...it makes me want to scream, argggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
I've been wondering how you have been doing- I'm glad you posted. Life can really SUCK. Be as angry as you need to be for as long as you need to be. You're dealing with a huge loss, and it's not fair. It's just not. I'm here too, and more than willing to listen. ((hugs))
It is a start. I sure hope no one would give platitudes!!!
I've been thinking about you a lot.
Platitudes are useless and generally suck. You will NOT hear them cross my lips.
I'm here, too, and listening.
I'm sorry we found ourselves in this place.
I've been wondering how you are doing and how you have been handling everything. Your post sounds just about right. Totally understandable. Very honest and, God, does it suck. I'm sorry.
No platitudes, just sending a lot of love and support your way.
Glad to see you are 'feeling' - hope you understand what I mean. We all need to feel - and sometimes kicking and screaming helps a little! Thinking of you!
you are entitled to all those and more so...
we're here to listen. no matter what's being said.
I'm sorry you're here too. Your words though summed it all up.
Hugs
I'm sorry...
There is nothing wrong with being angry - you need the release that comes with screaming and throwing stuff!
No platitudes. Just a hug and an I'm sorry.
Anger's definitely a start! I was weirdly happy to move on to anger after the wash of sadness I felt when we lost the boys. Anger felt purposeful and had an energy about it that all-encompassing sadness lacked. I hope your anger will drive you forward (onward? upward?) into a new space. Sending hugs and lots of good vibes in your direction~
I love you, B.
Speak what's on your mind...that's what I love about you. I think of you so often and you are never far away from my thoughts...((hugs))
You're allowed to feel crap. You're allowed to feel anger. You are allowed to deal with the hand you've been given!
I am thinking of you. Huge hugs.
Love you. xoxo
I've been thinking about you!
((HUGS))
Have been thinking about you lots. Nothing else to sy except it just fucking sucks.
Nothing wrong with anger. You've got a big right to be damned pissed off. Have your mad!
It sucks. I'm sorry. Many, many hugs.
no platitudes here. I am going to mention ONE good thing though - it's good to see a new post on your blog! We've missed you :)
It sucks big ones...I'm so sorry. My DH wants to buy me a punching bag - who knows it might make me(us) feel better. ((Hugs))
I've been thinking about you. It actually pisses me off when you are feeling shitty and all people do is tell you to "count your blessings." That is really the last thing most people want to hear. Take all the time you need. These are your feelings and no one can tell you what to do with them.
(( hugs ))
Damn right you deserve to feel everything and anything you feel. I'm angry right along with you! None of this is fair and none of this makes sense to me! You won't get any of those trite platitudes from me because I can't stand them either. Continue to embrace your emotions and vent anything you want. Unfortunately we've probably all felt the same way at some point and the only thing I can think to say is that the whole horrible situation sucks! Thinking of you and sending some big cyber ((hugs))!
I just sucks. Plain and simple.
I love you, B.
All the emotions: totally justified.
We're here through every ugly moment of it all.
Always beside you,
E
I feel a lot of things about this whole situation that I've been in, but yea, mostly anger wins in frequency.
I'm angry with you.
((hugs)) Just that.
Thank you for posting. Was thinking of you.
No platitudes. Just support.
Dear Brenda,
I share said emotions with you and for you as well.
It's a stunning realization--this lack of control of our own fertility and the fact that RE's don't usually have all the answers.
I think of you daily, and pray and hope for only the best. Only God knows what form that comes in.
*HUGS*
Anna
I have been wishing healing for you and will continue to. You have every right to feel the way you do, but I wish you didn't have to. I am thinking of you!
Let it out and however you want to let it out and whenever you want to let it out. This fucking sucks. I am angry for you too. You go about this as it feels best to you.
Yep, anger was my #1 emotion after my 3rd failed IVF. I so get this and know how very painful it is. Thinking of you and wishing I could take your pain away. Hugs!
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