eating my words...

and they have never tasted better.

I cried through so many of your sweet comments on my last post.  Everything hurt and I was not in a good place at all.  Battling this beast for nearing 6 years and failing time and time again coupled with a 2-year stall-out after our final ART failed had brought me to a breaking point of sorts.  I saw most everyone around me moving on while I sat, waiting-hoping-damn-near-willing M to have a change of heart.  It was slowly eating me alive. 

And then something happened.

Part of Heather's comment on my last post says it all.

"...my only consolation for you at this moment is that I've seen too many times how quickly things can turn. i don't know how - or when - but just that they can..." 

And they are.  In such a sweet and amazing way.

I don't yet fully understand the specifics on how or when it happened (and I don't need to), but just that it DID happen.  And the one thing I know I can count on is that as much as he loves me, M does not have a fake bone in his body.  He says exactly what he means even if it isn't what I want to hear.  Most recently when I asked his opinion of my outfit on one of those nights when I was struggling to find anything to wear, I got a "You look like friend X." said with a twisted scowl on his face.  "A little too tigerish." 

As much as I would love to have the husband that would do something like this because he knows it means the world to me, it means even more knowing that this is what he wants too (and surprisingly, he wants it to happen RIGHT NOW as in yesterday).

So we are finally leaving infertility purgatory behind with No Regrets and headed where we will continue forgetting to remember to forget.  Stop by sometime.  I'd love to see you over there!



And also an "ugh" to add in because I know this is going to be hard for some out there to read.  Big, giant, squishy hugs and I'm sorry.  I really really hate this part.