I'm sorry for just "disappearing" from blogland and truly appreciate all your kind thoughts and support through comments and emails. I couldn't help but cry when I checked in here. I'm truly touched beyond words.
I really just needed a break from it all. I have been pretty overwhelmed with all that is going on (both IF and work related) and might have hit my all time emotional low. Good news is, the only way to go is up. (:
I have found a new therapist and am working through some of this messy "stuff". Poor woman doesn't know what she has signed herself up for. This one actually understands fertility related jargon (as she has been through some infertility treatments herself and has treated quite a few fertility challenged patients) so I hope this is a better fit for me.
We are still moving forward with CCRM - had our phone consult on Tuesday (the 7th) and plan to do our 1-day work up there on October 24th. I have alot of mixed emotions (imagine that), but we are plowing right through them with a booked flight commitment. I'll try to summarize the phone consult another day.
We are also signed up to attend this: Fall Family Building Adoption and Fertility Symposium on October 18th. It just so happens to coincide with a double baby shower for 2 of my co-workers. Fucking irony, I think not.
I know I should have more to say as I have alot of blog thoughts, but I have some major blogger's block going on. Thoughts in my head + the words that I write = a whole lot of mixed up jargon. I'll spare you the pain for tonight.
I feel like a jackass for not commenting on any of your blogs for the past couple+ weeks and will be trying to slowly dig myself out. Damn, some of you girls can blog!! I know alot of you have had some really tough stuff going on and I'm sorry I haven't been there for you. There is never really a good time for a break. Much love and many hugs going out from here until I can make it to your neck of the woods.
About Me
- Lost in Space
- On the planet since 1973. Living in sin with M since 1997 and honestly since 2002. Failing at baby-making since 2005. And whining about it here since 2008. Come on in and sit a spell. This train wreck never seems to end.
16 comments:
Real empathy is something that is extended when needed. And right now you need it. So we're here for you. Without expectation of anything in return. ;)
YAY!!!!!! I am so happy to hear from you. I really really got so worried for a while. But I knew you needed the space as well.
I am so glad that you are pushing on. It takes time to process your thoughts and decide what to do next. You are taking small steps and wish I could be there to give you a hug.
Don't worry about not commenting. You take care of you.
ps Nothing exciting from me. Just that, I baked Banana Bread. I am telling everybody I finally baked! LOL. And it turned out ok! If you were here, I'd share it with you and we can eat it with ice-cream. YUMS!
((((hugs))))
Brenda, if you need to look after yourself first before reading our blogs and commenting then that is what you need to do... Numero Uno first! I won't say I have not missed you and I won't say I'n not glad to hear from you, but I understand the need to withdraw and lick ones wounds...
I'm glad you found a new therapist and I'll be praying that you get it all sorted out in your head...
Take care of yourself honey!
xxx
I am glad that you found a new therapist... mine was awesome when I could afford her!! LOL
YOu just take all the "You" time that you need, we have all been there, and know how much things can get us down. It feels better to step away and just be in real life sometimes!!
Good Luck with CCRM and BIG HUGE HUGS from the NC!!!!
Rebel
Just tons and tons of hugs for you today. I hope everything gets better soon.
(I missed you tons.)
I'm so glad that you posted. I'm sorry that you've been feeling so down, but it's good that you've found a new therapist.
I'm happy to hear that you are workong on so many things for your future. I look forward to hearing about your consult with CCRM. Please never worry about commenting. We've all been at some low points when we needed to focus on us. ((HUGS))
I was also worried about you after your last entry. I am so glad that you found a therapist that knows firsthand about infertility. My therapist has been there done that. I think seeing how she has pulled herself out of the dark place that IF can put you in and has made some good out of her experience really helps me.
I am glad that you are going forward with CCRM and also working on adoption. I think having somthing else to focus on besides the CCRM will help.
My favorite thing today is this disclaimer I found on the Fall Syposium registration "Due to the sensitive nature of infertility, children and visibly pregnant women will not be admitted."
That is some discrimination that made me smile today...might have made my day...
I wish I could just hug you and hold you, rocking you gently in my arms (not in the creepy way, of course).
I'm glad you have found a therapist that knows firsthand about infertility. I really feel like I need to find one that knows more about it too.
No apologies about your disappearance. We understand. Totally.
I'm proud of you, girl. You've been through the ringer, and I think you are doing an amazing job of facing things head on.
We're all here for you. Listening. Loving you. And hoping for you when you can't.
Take care.
I am so glad to see your post today - I have been worried about you. I totally understand the need for a break - and we are all here for you when you are ready. No pressure from blog friends!
Take care of yourself - I'll be praying for you.
Much love,
Tara
Brenda, I'm so glad to hear from you, I was worried, but I get what is going on. Sometimes it's just too hard.
I think you will beat me to CCRM. I haven't scheduled my 1 day work up yet ... but so far I'm looking at probably sometime between Oct 24th and Halloween - I hope! I hate long cycles after IVF. I will wait until I ovulate and then I'll schedule it ... the OPKs are getting darker so the day will come soon. Wouldn't it be cool if we connected in Denver!!
So I hope that b/c the babyshowers are on the day of the symposium that you are DEFINITELY skipping them, right?
Good to see your face/words.
Polly
Don't worry about checking out our blogs, dear! That's the beauty of blogging; you can catch up late.
I am glad you have a new therapist that is a better fit for you. I hope it makes all the difference.
Best of luck to you and your honey at CCRM. I hope your heart's desires come true.
No worries! Glad to hear things are looking up. Keep fighting!
Glad to see you back - I've missed you and as always the worrywart in me worries about you :-) Take all the time you need, and only you know how you feel - don't even begin to apologize for not commenting. You have so much going on right now and if anyone complains I'll go kick their ass for you, LOL! I'm glad you found someone new to give a whirl who has a little experience with IF, I hope that they can be a good ear to listen. I hope you have a safe trip to CCRM and that things go well in all areas of pushing forward whatever path ends up working out. As always - know I'm here to listen. And if you ever want to talk about anything - just let me know, or drop me an email or anything. I'm always here and even if you just want me to listen - I won't flood you with useless assvice back, okay? ((hugs))
We too are looking at a January cycle at CCRM!!! If my cycle cooperated this month (which it did NOT!) we would have been able to squeeze it in in Dec but no. Now that I know that you may be there in January ... we could get together!!! Yay! Now I'm glad we're likely waiting it out.
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