I love the boys and love spoiling them rotten when they are here. I normally go to the store before they come to pick up some new games, art supplies, and swimming gear to keep them entertained. Everyday they will ask me to play board games or draw or play catch with them. It always starts with, "Hey, Aunt Brenda, do you wanna........?" and ends with "I'd love to." We don't get to see them too much so if playing 37 games of Trouble is what they want to do, I'm all for creating some fun memories.
They visit pretty much every year and I usually look forward to it. This year though, I have been getting that sick, pit-in-my-stomach feeling every time I think about it. I don't feel like entertaining or really even spending time with "people" for extended periods of time. The thought of having a family of 4 living with us for a week is a bit overwhelming right now. I have trouble pretending I'm happy for a few hours, let alone an entire week.
I feel somewhat guilty that I have decided to work all week instead of taking it off. It's easy to justify as I am so busy at work right now, but truth be told, I would have worked anyway. I have read many places that it's okay to put yourself first to get through the tough spots so I'm believing it's true and going along with it.
I probably won't be around much this week, but will try to sneak some blog time from work if I can.
*~*~*~*~*
In other news, I had my follow-up sigmoidoscopy today to make sure there were no Earl the polyp remnants left behind from my colonoscopy in May. I'm no expert (although this is the 3rd time I've seen my colon this year LOL) so I couldn't tell where Earl had been at all. I'm guessing my GI doc could tell as he kept looking at one particular area, but he said everything looked great.
Because Earl was "pre-cancerous" I asked my GI what his thoughts were on some of Earl's buddies popping up in the future and causing some real problems. He said that it normally takes 7-8 years for a polyp to reach 1cm (the size of Earl). From here, even if cancer starts growing, it happens very slowly and can take another 5 years or more before it is a real issue. So, even if a polyp started growing the day after my colonoscopy, I will have 2-3 colonoscopies (one every 5 years) to catch 'em at some stage of their growth. I'm good with this. While I don't have a great ass, I would prefer to keep what I do have cancer-free. Next colonoscopy set for 2013.
19 comments:
How exciting the kids are coming! Have fun with them, I know you will.
Good you're working, not to be selfish, but you will enjoy them enough when you get home, really.
Its been a tough time for you girl, and it will lift your spirits to have them around... but better you will busy in the daytime.
Does that sound mean?
I really mean it, not to be mean, but for you....
Anyway, i am rambling, but thinking of you and hating Earl. Seems all is ok now on that front, so thank God for that. Thinking of you Auntie Brenda... xoxoxoxoxo
I can so imagine you and your nephews the way you've written it. I'm sure you're the best aunty going. And I'm sure they must be looking forward to be spoilt rotten by you.
I am hoping that Earl stays out of the picture for a long long time.
ps I just saw your email. The dream burns alive for you, Mummy Brenda. :)
(((((big big hugs)))))
Glad to hear Earl is gone. He certainly sounds like an unwelcome guest. Sneaky little guy, but apparently not sneaky enough if he needs 5 years to reappear. That's great news!
Speaking of guests, I'm glad you have such great little nephews. They are very lucky to have an aunt like you (I didn't, so family functions were total snoozers). I totally understand your reservations about having the whole family for a week during thise time, but it might be a nice distraction. I hope this is the case!
I think you're doing exactly what you should do. Taking care of yourself should be #1 on your list of priorities. So, if working for the week will help keep you sane, that's what you should do.
Congrats on the clean bill of health. Colon cancer runs in my family, so I have a colonoscopy to look forward to in 2011.
I am glad that Earl is gone and that they are not too worried about problems in the future.
Have fun this week visiting with your family. I am glad you are doing what you need to do for you by working.
Glad Earl is completely out of the picture and no longer a pain in your ass.
I hope you are having so much fun with the family that the week goes by too quickly. Hang in there...
{{super hugs}}
Oh come on Bren, I love your ass.
E
P.S. It's hard being an auntie, and I know the guilt you are feeling. But I'm betting those kiddies adore you. As hard as it is, we've got to cultivate those memories... for them. Love you.
I'm really proud of you for putting yourself first. That's a great sign of trying to move beyond the hurt you are feeling.
I hope you have fun with the family this week. Sounds like the kids adore Aunt Brenda...and why wouldn't they? You are a very caring, sweet person!!
Hey Brenda! It is completely ok that you are taking time out of the visit (ok avoiding but whatever!) to work - at this point if you don't feel up to being bombarded by the kids then so be it - take care of number 1 my friend! And that is YOU!
The "Earl" or lack of earls plan of action sounds good to me!
Take care of yourself my friend!
xxx
I'm certain that once the kids arrive, you will be playing with them. It will be harder to deal when they leave. Brace yourself and maybe burying yourself in work will help.
Please remember to do the colonoscopy. I heard that eating lots of vegetables aid in healthy colon. Please consider.
Hoping your weekend went well. I understand that stomach-pit feeling and HATE it...it feels like yet another body betrayal. Last time I went through a "can't deal with the world withdrawal" I ended up pretty much obsessing and watching the past 2 seasons of Dexter...I found it oddly comforting...oh the absurdity of it all...
Sounds like your nephews are wonderfully lucky to have you as their aunt. I think you know yourself best, and it is fine if you spend some time at work this week. In the evenings, I bet you won't be able to resist the little buggers and it will do you some good to hang out with them.
I'm proud of you, Brenda. You are taking care of yourself right now, and that is your number 1 priority!
Hi Brenda,
I have 2 nephews too and I love them to pieces too. It is always a possibility that I may get to the same point you are describing. And if and when I get there, I hope their parents would understand.
Here's hoping you get through the week okay!
Hey, Aunt Brenda... so glad to know that you're putting your self first while creating unforgettable memories with your precious nephews. It's great that you are able to do both instead of one at the 'expense' of the other.
You've taken such great strides in the past weeks, you are to be commended--congratulations, and keep it up.
Good to hear your colonoscopy report came back okay. You have one advantage many don't--knowledge/awareness-- which you have used to take early pro-active and preventative measures. Thank God for small mercies.
Best wishes and good health.
Anna
Hope you had fun with your nephews.
Happy to do it! It was a great time...
I'm so sorry about being missing in action lately, and you have been so great with checking in on us - I really appreciate it. It's music to my ears to hear your colonoscopy went well - wow...3 in one year! You deserve like medal for all of that - that is way too many for anyone to have to have that close together - but I'm so happy that they were able to keep such a close eye on things. That's good to know.
I hope you have a good visit with your relatives - and yes...take as much time for you as you need. I hope it's a good one for you. Even though I haven't commented much - I think of you often as well and am sending some hugs you way :-)
I just read back through your other posts from recent - and I had to say once again how sorry I am that you have had to go through all of again. My heart truly aches that it is just so freakin unfair sometimes. I want my stinkin magic wand to just be able to make things right for sweet people like you....I am so sorry and will keep you in my thoughts.
I hope your family visit went well. I can understand the working part, though.
I'm glad your followup appt. went well, too, and that your next colonoscopy is a ways off.
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