I got the call today from my primary care doctor letting me know that
Earl was non-cancerous. All signs pointed in this direction and my GI doc had estimated only a 10% chance the little bastard was a colon-eater, but I am still relieved and very grateful to know for sure. The odds of having infertility are low too so my view on "unlikely statistics" has become a bit skewed. That, coupled with the fact that I come from a family with strong cancer ties. You would think it was enough that they gave me "short" and bad skin, but here is the bonus list I get to add to all my medical charts.
- Brain tumor - My dad had one in his late 20's a couple years after he was diagnosed with MS.
- Lung cancer - My paternal grandpa (a non-smoker) had a very slow growing type of lung cancer, but also lived to be almost 97.
- Ovarian or Uterine cancer - My paternal grandma died of one of these in her 50's (before I was born).
- Colon cancer - My paternal aunt just finished her second battle with this - the first was in her late 40s and this one in her mid 60's.
- Breast cancer - My maternal grandma had this in her early 50's.
- Spinal cord tumor - My maternal uncle had a freak tumor grow near his spinal cord when he was 17 and is paralyzed on his entire right side from it.
- Skin cancer - My brother had precancerous moles removed in his early 30's.
So while I tried not to really think too much about all of this, there was still that little voice in the back of my head whispering some doubt. Every "-oscopy" I have had in the past year has found something new to deal with:
- June 07 Cystoscopy = Interstitial Cystitis
- August 07 Laparoscopy = Endometriosis
- April 08 Sigmoidoscopy = Colon Polyp
I'm happy that my craptastic (bad pun intended) luck seems to have taken a turn and the colonoscopy did not find any ass cancer. They want me to have another sigmoidoscopy in 3 months, but I am planning to be into my 11th week of pregnancy (from our upcoming IVF) then so I will probably have to pass on the
double enema prep for awhile. Damnit, and I was hoping to do another one of those again so soon.
I promise to stop talking about my ass problems, cameras in my ass, and the inner workings of my colon for now so you can all breathe a sigh of relief.
Next up, it's all about the adventures of my ovaries and hoo haw. Aren't you excited!?!
14 comments:
In this case, it's a good thing that Earl is such an underachieving loser!!! How is the Lupron treating you?
Heart disease and diabetes run in my family. (Gee, both of them, never would have guessed, eh?) And then there's the breast cancer. Knowing your family medical history is empowering but a little scary too.
LOL, Yay for the end of the butt adventure and the start of the ovary adventure! =)
So glad Earl was a dud.
Like a milk dud? Glad that your visit with Dr. Assman went well!
I'm glad you didn't have anything too exciting "up there." No honestly, that's great news. Things like that can be really stressful. I'm glad you can move forward with more important, much more fun things! (NCLM)
I'm so glad Earl is a loser. Yay, yay, yay!
Wow, your medical / family history sounds an awful lot like mine! IC is pretty fun, huh? ;)
Hope you don't have to endure anything more invasive than a pregnancy test in the near future! :)
When I first heard of laparoscopy, my mind went wild and i thought WTF is that? sounds like photocopy to me!!!! Sigh...
Keep talkin' about your ass problems, if you have to. I have enuf ass problems - my my peas (haemmoroids) in my two pods are just a killer! GAH!!
Yay that Earl's a f-ing loser!
Oh my gosh! I'm so glad you don't have ass cancer!
I'm so glad Earl was a dud.
So much to catch up on...
Whew! So glad to read that you will not have a long and lasting relationship with Earl.
I am totally looking forward to the adventures of your hoo-ha and ovaries. :)
Would not have thought to lube the pucker for the bowel prep. Makes sense though.
Dunno why the lab tech thinks she is a diagnostician. Hope she shuts her trap in the future.
Peace out, Earl.
We won't miss ya.
So happy it turned out good!
E
Glad you can put Earl behind you. :)
Hi there---
glad your okay and I wish you tons of Luck with your upcoming IVF!!! Thanks for stopping by my blog!!!!
Ass cancer would suck, all cancer sucks. My mom is a survivor, 14+ years from breast cancer, she's a trooper!!!
I am so excited for your upcoming cycle, very cool.
As you can see, I'm back and ok. xoxoxoxo
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