My Snarky Thanksgiving List

With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, I thought it would be appropriate to share some of the things I am thankful for this year. Yes, I am eternally grateful for M, our furbabies, our families, our friends, our home, our jobs, our health, etc. I think deep down these are on all of our thankful lists.

This list is one of those that may be a bit off the beaten path. It includes thoughts that are normally only stuck in my head and filtered before they reach my mouth. This is my secret sarcastic holiday thankful list. I'm sharing because I know you all "get it".


As a side note and precursor, M and I are spending all of our holidays away from our families (the ones where we are the only childless sibling on both sides) this year due to my work schedule.

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I am thankful that we don't have to try to maneuver packing obnoxious talking Christmas toys and bulky sweaters into a couple tiny carry ons, battling holiday traffic, airport parking, and flight delays to get to a holiday destination with sub-zero temperatures and torture racks (futons and hide-a-beds) for our sleeping displeasure.

I am thankful that M and I will get to spend our Christmas with just the 2 of us, doing whatever we want, and not adhering to anyone else's schedule "because they have kids".

I am thankful that all but 1 of our nephews and niece are old enough to just want giftcards for Christmas so we can skip the hell that is Toys R Us.

I am thankful that I will not have to sit through 2 separate "Santa" mornings with any of our nephews this year. I love them all dearly, but those are some hard family moments to watch.

I am thankful that we do not have to spend another tense Christmas extravaganza with M's family this year. (The dysfunction of last year's Christmas is still rippling through with several of them not on speaking terms.)

I am thankful that we will not have to help play the part of "Santa" in putting toys together during the late night hours of Christmas eve for children who are not ours.

I am thankful that there will be no newborns of friends or family members shoved my direction this year.

I am thankful that we will not be stuck at my brother's holiday party as the only childless couple again while all of their friend's kids run rampant around his house.

I am thankful that my officemate is now on leave and I can go to work without the daily in-your-face pregnant belly reminder of our own failure to reproduce.

I am thankful that there will be no work holiday party outside of the office (aka work holiday party with kids) because the normal party planners are swamped with our testing schedule.

I am thankful that I won't be getting a call this year from my RE checking in to see if our cycle was successful while I am out shopping with my family. "No really, it was white as snow. I am sure."

I am thankful that M's parents and their little rat-looking, piss dribbling, yippy dogs are not visiting our house for Thanksgiving.

I am thankful that I will not have to face any of my relatives or old classmates back home once again this year to be asked the ever popular, "So are you ever going to have kids?", "You're not getting any younger, ya know?", and "Work isn't all there is to life." type comments.

I am thankful that I will not have to POAS or shove progesterone up my hoo-ha while traveling and staying with relatives.

I am thankful I will not have to watch children's movies or movies like "Knocked Up" this year because that is what others have chosen and think is funny.

I am thankful that I will be working the night shift for our December testing so I can jump in and out of stores as soon as they open (and I just get off work) to avoid all the big holiday evening and weekend crowds.

I am thankful I will not have to entertain others kids this year and still try to be the "fun" aunt while coping with killer cramps and another failed cycle.

I am thankful I will not have to deal with meeting my best friend's newborn (due 12/20) while holding back tears because that kind of stuff just hurts too fucking much right now.

I am thankful that the only holiday party invitation we have accepted this year is one that will have no children and more bottles of wine than our local liquor store.

I am thankful that M wants to just skip the whole big Thanksgiving meal this year and keep it easy because he knows how tired I will be after working the night shift until 7AM on Thanksgiving morning.

I am thankful that when I decline alcohol (because of my effed up bladder) that my brother's friends won't start with the "Are you pregnant comments?" while trying to make me hold a 10-day old baby that was brought to their party - all on the day after testing negative on an IUI cycle.


As hard as the holidays are when you are infertile, I think I have an exceptional amount of things to be thankful for this year. Don't make me feel like a total bitch with these. What's on your snarky list this year?