New vehicle fund once again equals IVF fund

M and I finally replaced his vehicle this past weekend. Our insurance company deemed his **totalled** in April after he rear ended a 5 series BMW and our airbags deployed. (**Note that the chin shot in that post got me a guilt ridden nice meal or 2 out of M.**)

Let me start this by saying that I am not a "keeping up with the Joneses" kind of girl. My vehicle is a manual '95 beat up Ford Ranger that I have had since undergrad and is **on it's last leg**. It does not speak working professional and compared to our neighbor's vehicles, I am sure that I am "bringing down the 'hood" or at least putting it in 'hood status). My thoughts: It's paid for, it runs, and I don't give a rat's ass about "status". (**Yes, it looks that bad as we get notes on the windshield once or twice a month from mechanics named Jose, Ivan, and Jesus who want to buy it for parts - even if it isn't running.**)

I do not enjoy car shopping. Surprise, surprise. I feel like the **salespeople are out to screw us** as soon as we walk on the lot. I have had no interest in going since our accident and M has been not-so-patiently scouring the net for vehicles that might interest me. He finally figured out the way to even get me to look at stuff was through an Excel spreadsheet. Yes, laugh away. Call me the nerd that I am. He knows me way too well and knew that if he made a spreadsheet that I would have to look at it to satisfy my obsession for Excel and all that is organization. I did have to make some "minor adjustments" to keep everything right in my happy spreadsheet world, but he at least got me to look. (**Apologies to any car salespeople or family/friends of them. I'm sure the one you know is "different".**)

We compared, test drove, looked at several vehicles, and settled on a used silver 2007 Toyota Rav4 Limited. The price was right, features great, gas mileage good, and we both like it. What does any of this have to do with IF?

1. I am a huge Dave Ramsey fan and he has brainwashed me to believe that debt (outside of our mortgage) is the enemy. If we don't have the money for something, we don't buy it. We were saving to eventually replace my Ranger when that last leg finally gives out, but then we were faced with IVF#1 and our new vehicle fund became our IVF fund. Money down the tubes.....Literally.
2. We got a **nice tax refund** this year. If IVF#1 had worked, this would have become our new vehicle fund. Instead it became the start of IVF#2 fund. Knowing how that ended, I think a new vehicle would have been much better, huh? (**CA mortgages tend to help this when you pay through the wazoo on interest and property taxes.**)
3. We got a check for our totalled vehicle which seriously should have been our new vehicle fund, but it is going toward IVF#3. Yup, we financed the vehicle going completely against all that is Dave Ramsey.

Even though we are told we have the credit scores of old people and we got a great interest rate, I hate having this debt.
I hate that we have already paid over $30k in this baby making journey when most get as many babies as their hearts desire for free.
I hate that every car salesperson that we spoke to couldn't resist the temptation to ask if we have **kids**. I think this is their "in" to sell you on the safety features because obviously those of us without children aren't worthy of or interested in cars that perform well in a front end test crash. (**An "I hate kids" or "2 time IVF failure" t-shirt would have come in mighty handy for our car shopping excursions.**).
I hate hearing from my pregnant office-mate that this vehicle will give us alot of room. Yes, a whole fucking empty back seat. We are thrilled too.
Okay, bitterness is seeping out a bit so it's probably time to bring this to a close. I am happy to have the vehicle, thrilled that the hunt is over, and appreciative that we can afford IF treatments and a vehicle. Believe me, I know how lucky we are. It's just a bitter pill to swallow though.

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Side note: Just because we have decided on a third round doesn't mean it will happen anytime soon. I still have no interest in researching our next clinic yet. Before IVF#2, we talked about going to CCRM if we needed a third cycle. They take the hardest cases and they still have some of the best (if not the best) stats for women who have had multiple failed cycles elsewhere. It's just a bit harder to move this forward now that our reality is approaching that one last ditch "hurrah" effort.
Going to CCRM means travelling out of state and staying in CO for a couple weeks or more. It is also much more expensive - probably double one of our previous cycles after adding in the travel and boarding.
More saving is needed.
My work schedule is also not pretty for the rest of this year and we have already been told to not make any holiday or vacation plans.
Time off could be tricky.
Lots to think about.
Still processing, I guess.